There was once a painter who was very sad. He preferred to spend his time sitting atop a stool, and for hours he would stare blankly into the white canvas resting on the wooden easel in front of him. Sometimes … Continue reading Grayscale
“The sex wasn’t good: she had bad breath and I didn’t like the way she said my name.” His eyes briefly glanced over to meet mine, and then he resumed, “Plus, I just wasn’t used to normal hands.” He was … Continue reading A Soul Named John
Shoutout to Craigslist for being real as shit. While the website’s layout might be disgustingly ugly to look at, you still have to recognize what a crucial corner of the internet Craigslist inhibits. I always forget how much Craigslist has to … Continue reading Personals
Monday mid-afternoons used to belong to a two-hour time suck of a class known as Women’s Health Issues. I registered for the course as an attempt to better understand what exactly my issues were, usually to no avail. The word … Continue reading On Emergencies
Does anyone even know the protocol for which words you capitalize in the title head because I think I’ve been told it’s a stylistic judgement call. But I could barely make one of those calls when I was figuring out whether … Continue reading What Does Someone Have to do Around Here to Get a Cookie?
When I first applied to McDonald’s, I did it as a joke more than anything else. Sure, there was a small possibility that maybe, when all hope was lost, I would resign myself to the reign of the internationally recognized … Continue reading Shitty Jobs & Privileged Kids
Almost every unit had arrived to Grandpa’s house. My dad and us kids, Grandpa (obviously), and my aunt and her boyfriend… Just waiting on our uncle and his kids: a 5-year-old and two twin toddlers. To pass the time, those … Continue reading Family Reunions
So I eat a lot. And drink a lot. And in high school I studied, a lot. I devoted most of my free time in the library buried under a blanket of books and flashcards, with a sharp awareness … Continue reading If I’m Writing From 30,000 Feet in the Air, am I Going to Sound High?
I just wrote an amazing essay in my head on the walk up to the fifth floor of the library. Like it was actually gold, something Socrates would have written: a perfect blend of sociological analysis of humans and … Continue reading Unexplaining the Brain